The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores

They who wish to hurt you work within the law

This insightful song had its live debut at the premiere concert of Morrissey’s World Tour 2002 in Phoenix, Arizona on August 9, 2002. Musicians on this tour were Boz Boorer (guitar as well as being co-writer), Alain Whyte (guitar), Gary Day (bass) and Dean Butterworth (drums).

Listen here beginning at 31:24 for the very first performance of ‘The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores’:

The song was first recorded on October 3, 2002 for Morrissey's appearance on Janice Long's BBC2 program radio session with the same musician lineup. Listen to this initial recording here:

The definitive version of the song that appears on You Are The Quarry¹ was recorded at Hook End Recording Studios in Oxfordshire, England in the autumn of 2003 and was both produced and mixed by Jerry Finn with the original set of musicians (with the addition of Roger Manning on piano).

A light-hearted lament, ‘The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores’ begins with Morrissey checking-in with his audience after his seven-year musical hiatus, as though he were chatting with some secondary school mate he had run into in middle age:

You must be wondering how
The boy next door turned out
Have a care, but don't stare
Because he's still there

The song’s focus shifts, with Morrissey addressing a host of people under the titular panoply of “crashing bores”, starting with himself:

And I must be one
'Cause no one ever turns to me to say
'Take me in your arms
Take me in your arms and love me' "

Morrissey soon disengages himself from such consideration, moving on to describe functionaries of the state - law enforcement, tax agents and such - as being nothing more than uniformed whores. Lawyers are identified as “Educated criminals” who “Work within the law”. All are painted as crashing bores. Whether through prescience or accident, it is remarkable that Morrissey identifies in the song what is now commonly referred to as ‘Lawfare’ (“They who wish to hurt you/Work within the law”).

Morrissey moves on to the tedious banality of pop stardom, decrying its shallowness and conformity:

“[…] it's just more lock-jawed pop stars
Thicker than pig-shit - nothing to convey
So scared to show intelligence
It might smear their lovely career”

Smear their lovely career, indeed. Morrissey’s outspokenness, independence and acerbic wit has cost him so dearly, going from once being the darling of the music press with no professional obstacles to now being largely ostracized in many circles, bereft of a record label (master tapes held for ransom by his erstwhile label) and forced to sit upon a growing backlog of unreleased music.

Morrissey opines that “This world […]Is designed for crashing bores”, adding what hardly needs to be stated - that he is not counted among them (“I am not one, I am not one”). This declaration appears to have put off many fans, who perceive it as being